in light of the rising frequency of human/grizzly bear conflicts,the alaska department of fish and game is advising tourists hikers, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert for bears while traveling this summer
we advise that people wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that are not expecting them.we also advise everyone to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a grizzly.
it is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung.
black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper
1. When I say I know you,I mean I knew you yesterday. I do not know you actually now.——Kaishnamurti
2.Wonders are many,and nothing is more wonderful then man.–Sophocles
3.The proper function of man is to live,but not to exist.–Jack London
4.If you smile when one is around,you really mean it.–Andy Rooney
5.There is a time to speak and a time to be silent.–Caxton
6.The worst bankrupt is the person who lost his enthusiasm.– H.W.Arnold
7.It is awfully easy to be hard-boiled about everything in the daytime,but at night it is another thing.–Hemingway
8. To err is human,to forgive,divine.–Pope
9.There is an unconscious heeling process within the mind which mends up in spite of our desperate determination never to forget.——Colleen McCullough
10.In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.——Oscar Wildle
Two farmers met with each other, and the first one said, “Didn’t your horse have that disease that was going around?” The friend replied, “Yes, he did! He had it bad.” “So, what did you do for him?” asked the first farmer. “Well, I dosed him good with a half pint of linseed oil, a tablespoon of turpentine, and three tablespoons of castor oil.”
A few days later, the two farmers met again. The first farmer asked his friend, “Didn’t you tell me you gave your horse a half pint of linseed oil, a tablespoon of turpentine, and three tablespoons of castor oil?” The second said, “Yes, I sure did!” The first farmer exclaimed, “I thought that’s what you said, but when I gave it to my horse, he died!” And the friend said, “Of course! Mine did, too!”
I have nerver had someone standing behind me when i close the bathroom mirror cabinet
I have never walked into a bar filled with black people and had the record scratch while everyone stares at me in stunned silence.
studing for tests does not go into montage mode ….fu*k yeah.
When you hit someone in the head, they are automaatically knocked unconscious- the only repercussion is a small headache when they wake up at a convenient time later.
I never turn on the news and see that what’s on is immediately relevant to my situation.
I’ve never had a dial tone when the other person hangs up
I don’t disappear behind buses that drive by
A group of attackers confront you -instead of all attacking at once and overwhelming you . they each run up one-by-one and are easily defeated
I have never been chased by 25 men,firing automatic weapons,and gotten away with only a grazed bullet
I have never taken my glasses off and put my hair down and suddenly become 9000 times hotter than previously thought.
Hacker types furiously for 10 seconds before breaking into a password protected database or whatever is needed to further the plot in linder a minute
I have never made a mad dash to the airport to stop a loved one from leaving when a simple phone call advising them of my ill-timed change of heart would have sufficed.
DNA results come back in 2 minutes – they actually take about 6 months in normal police stations,considering all the backlogs.
When i’m shooting a gun at someone and empty the clip ,I dont throw away the gun.
MY HAND IS TOO FAT TO SHOVE INTO THE PRINGLES CONTAINER SO I AM FORCED TO TILT IT.
I DIDNT HAVE A SHITTY CHILDHOOD,SO I CANT TURN MY PAIN INTO ART.
I HAD TOO MUCH FOOD FOR LUNCH AND NOW I’M TIRED
I FORGOT TO BRING MY PHONE WITH ME WHEN WENT TO POOP AND I WAS BORED THE ENTIRE TIME.
I’M KIND OF HUNGRY ,BUT MY ROOMMATE HAS GUESTS OVER,SO IF I GO INTO THE KITCHEN I’M GOING TO HAVE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.
I HAVE TO FIND MY OWN GIRLFRIEND BECAUSE MY CULTURE DOESNT PRACTICE ARRANGED MARRIAGES.
I ACCIDENTALLY CLICKED ITUNES AND HAD TO WAIT 2 MINUTES FOR IT TO PPEN BEFORE I COULD CLOSE IT AGAIN.
MY GPS MADE ME DRIVE THROUGH THE GHETTO.
I’M TRYING TO TEXT WHILE AT A RED LIGHT ,BUT I KEEP MAKING ALL THE GREENS.
I CAN’T HEAR THE TV WHILE I’M EATING CRUNCHY SNACKS.
THE DOMINO’S PIZZA TRACKER IS NOT WORKING. NOW I DON’TKNOW WHEN TO PUT MY PANTS ON.
MY LAPTOP IS LOW ON BATTERY ,BUT THE CHARGER IS OVER THERE.