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The Things That Never Happen In Real Life

I  have nerver had someone standing behind me when i close the bathroom mirror cabinet

I have never walked into a bar filled with black people and had the record scratch while everyone stares at me in stunned silence.

studing for tests does not go into montage mode ¬†….fu*k yeah.

When you hit someone in the head, they are automaatically knocked unconscious- the only repercussion is a small headache when they wake up at a convenient time later.

I never turn on the news and see that what’s on is immediately relevant to my situation.

I’ve never had a dial tone when the other person hangs up

I don’t disappear behind buses that drive by

A group of attackers confront you -instead of all attacking at once and overwhelming you . they each run up one-by-one and are easily defeated

I have never been chased by 25 men,firing automatic weapons,and gotten away with only a grazed bullet

I have never taken my glasses off and put my hair down and suddenly become 9000 times hotter than previously thought.

Hacker types furiously for 10 seconds before breaking into a password protected database or whatever is needed to further the plot in linder a minute

I have never made a mad dash to the airport to stop a loved one from leaving when a simple phone call advising them of my ill-timed change of heart would have sufficed.

DNA results come back in 2 minutes – they actually take about 6 months in normal police stations,considering all the backlogs.

When i’m shooting a gun at someone and empty the clip ,I dont throw away the gun.

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